Sunday, December 31, 2006

To the future and all it holds

I like to think I can multi-task. Fact is I just spew this untruth at job interviews to seem more impressive that I really am. I can really only concentrate on one thing at a time; when I read I must have silence, and when I listen to music it is impossible to get any work done.

So like right now with all the commotion in Telawi street and Clint Mansell on repeat thru my earphones, I can’t hold a single thought in my head. I should just give up now.

Yeah, yeah, but I’m stubborn.

***

So much for being stubborn, it’s about 2 hours later and as I sit here typing on my ‘obelisk’, bran’s immersed in the Man U game (though not so much that he can’t join me in duet-whistling of Christmas carols ;).

For next year I have already settled on two resolutions:

  1. Join a dance class. I’m thinking probably Latin, salsa perhaps? I’m pretty sure though that I’ll be paired off with some other lady who, like me, lacks a male dance partner. That’s all right though so long as she stays clear of my toes.

  1. Visit at least one overseas destination. And by ‘overseas’ I mean a foreign country and not just a local destination that requires me to fly over a body of water! The only other rule is that it must also be a place I haven’t visited before. Since I’m not exactly rolling in riches (still haven’t struck the lottery jackpot, which admittedly is a little hard to do since I never buy lottery tickets) it’ll probably be to a Southeast Asian destination. Like I told bran, the idea is to go someplace where you don’t understand a single word the locals say, you don’t know what cooked creature (parts) you are about to consume and you frequently have no idea where you are or how to get where you’re going. Sounds exciting (and a little life threatening) eh?

Looking forward to it; the coming year, the future and all it holds.

It’ll be a good one. Trust me, I’m clairvoyant.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Listening

Come to me. Tell me your tale.


I will listen intently and never waver in my concentration.
I will be quiet as you find your story’s momentum.
I will nod encouragingly (but ever so slightly) when you show hesitation at the verge of revealing your deepest secrets.
I will tactfully mould and condense my questions so that you do not feel threatened.
I will ask them only in moments of lull so as not to distract from your rhythm.
I will coax you gently along the path of your memories.


And you, you will remember what you thought you had forgotten.
Your mind and heart will remember how it used to skip to a different beat
You will relive, reawaken, resurrect, for just that fleeting moment, your bittersweet thoughts, fears and desires of a life lived hard.


And in the end, you will feel your story safe with me.
You will feel nostalgic but relieved that a stranger (a friend) heard you and understood.
Heard you, and shared your pain and joy (and laughter and tears).
Heard you, and did not judge.


And I will be satiated.
I will marvel at how even the most unassuming people have their own tales to tell.
Tales I had, and hope to continue to have, the unexpected honour to be entrusted with.


So come to me and tell me your tale.

I am listening.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Right this moment

I'm sitting on the bed by the window hearing the rain patter down.

My nails are bold red sprinkled with gold dust. An impulse buy that's more Christmas-y than I actually feel.

There's the heavenly smell of slowly simmering prawn and tomato stock wafting through the house.

The bf is out having his hair barber-ed after which he will come home and try the new recipe we watched on TV last night.
.
.
.
I am so lucky.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

I, Kate Hudson

When not in front of a mirror, this is roughly how I imagine I look like now :p.

So it ended up more like Kate Hudson rather than Kate Beckinsale, but life, it goes on. As long as little children do not run and hide behind their mothers skirts when they see me approaching, i'm happy enough :)

On to the next burning question: How do I get boobs like hers?

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Hair-raising

Is it too much to ask that when my hairdresser perms my hair, that I miraculously transform to look like Kate Beckinsale too?

Sigh.

I've decided that I will go ahead. If this year turns out to be the year for a hair disaster, then so be it.
I will tempt fate.
I will be zen.
Ommmmmm......

(Wait a minute. Curls rinse out, right?!)

And around we go

Went to Mid Valley (MV) after work last night. Was happy when I finished and looked at my watch to realize it was only 7.30pm. So there I was happily thinking I’d be back home before 8. Heh, but I reckoned without the mysterious jam.

It took me all of 20 minutes to even exit the parking lot. And then the crawl just continued: inch by agonizing inch. I thought perhaps a traffic jam on the Federal Highway was back-logged all the way to MV. It finally took me and hour to clear a semi-circle around MV and then the Federal Highway was……not jammed! So the traffic jam was only around MV, like an insanely slow merry-go-round with toy cars that don’t go more than 1 kmph with frequent stops to enjoy the view of concrete and fellow toy cars.

I’ve been to MV on weekday nights and it’s never like this, so perhaps it’s the combination of several factors: the Year End Sales (Y.E.S.!), the school holidays, the people clearing their annual leave before the end of the year and even more people out for Christmas shopping.

In any case, avoid MV at all costs unless your life somehow depended on visiting a shopping mall.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

“A person's mood is an observable affective state, which can consist of a combination of emotions. In normal functioning, moods are influenced by external events, which is adaptive.” – Courtesy of Wikipedia

I was in a bad mood yesterday. But instead of doing the usual thing of brooding, indulging and giving in to it, I chose instead to warn bran, who expectedly was somewhat perturbed and concerned. He did the right thing though: asked, listened, talked, even if he was a little impatient to watch Amazing Race (The Barbies are out! And Bama are in the final three! Who’d have thunk?) :p

Anyway I thought up a little theory last night. Contrary to what Wikipedia says, perhaps my moods aren’t so much influenced by external factors and events, but rather a result of some chemical imbalance in the body. A shift in hormone levels perhaps? Basically a physical cause that triggers emotional symptoms.

This I figure because I realize that I am almost always acutely aware of the exact moment when the shift or change happens. As I told bran, it’s almost a physical sensation, like pain (though it’s not painful). And the other reason is because even in that state, I can think rationally and no matter how much I search, I can’t find a solid reason for feeling that way. But I know for certain that once I get started, even little things that would normally pass below my radar serve to compound that bad feeling.

This is as far as I’ve gotten actually. The next step would be to try and figure out how to deal with it:

  1. Admitting it. Let it be known rather than found out since that implies that I have let the mood lead to consequences.
  2. Talking it through (though I usually feel far from chatty)
  3. Eating! Seriously. Even if I’m hungry I still have no interest in it but when I do it seems to ease the edge a little.

(There is still much to learn, new discoveries to make. And then things change again, so we’ll just see how things go and ride the waves as they come.)

Monday, December 04, 2006

The end is near.

December is going to be an interesting month. I can feel it in my bones (All of which by the way are encased in way too much fat and flesh, more than I’m used to. But I digress)

November somehow wasn't what I'd expected it to be, not that it was bad just that it was somehow unremarkable even though technically it should have been what with the celebratory events. But December, now December, here’s a month to watch out for.

So stuff to look forward to in December:

  1. Company annual dinner on the 15th,
  2. Christmas on the 25th and
  3. New Year’s Eve on the 31st.

Looking forward to the annual company do this year because well it’s my first with this company and technically the first time I’ll be attending a function of this scale since ex-company was a small one so there was never anything more than a simple dinner here and there. I would have liked the function to be a grander, dress-to-kill kind of occasion, but it seems that the organizers have opted for a kitschy 70’s themed party. I certainly won’t be following the theme but the rest of them who will be doing the same are opting for a more casual t-shirt and jeans getup. And here I am itching to wear a dress and glam it up a bit. Another thing is I wished I could bring my significant other half along but the invite for outsiders is extended to spouses only and besides he has his own department function to attend, so boo-hoo, sorry little me will have to go alone. Sigh, L.

Christmas. Well, as years pass by, I’m getting more and more blasé about the celebrations. Seems a bit of a chore having to crack your head for Christmas gift ideas, then decorating the house, and all the cooking and preparation to be done just fills me with a feeling not far from dread. I used to bother if I had something nice to wear for Christmas. These days I’d just wear any old thing as long as no one has seen it before. And presents aren’t much to look forward to anyway, guess our tastes get more sophisticated as we get older and so I don’t expect anything and gift giving just becomes a formality.

Now New Year’s Eve is a different story all together. I’ve never been one to celebrate it, and remember many a New Year’s Eve spent at home in front of the telly with a party pack in hand watching the countdown (It really isn’t as miserable as it sounds!). And the years when I did want to go out and celebrate, no one was ever free or willing or even in the mood to accompany me for a night of revelry out and about in town. But last year I had fun at the laid-back and almost intimate barbeque at home even though yet again I was foiled in catching a glimpse of the fireworks. This year I guess there’s no need to fix what ain’t broke. And so barbeque and the best lamb chop I’ve ever tasted it is.

Also by virtue of it being December, the mind is racing, mulling over things as the year hurtles inevitably towards its end. Ah, but then that’s fodder for another post.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Can’t seem to get connected to the Net, the router seems to be giving intermittent problems: up on minute then down the next. Well nothing I can do until the (darling) expert wakes up and fixes it.

So in the meantime…

…I enjoyed my birthday. Made the effort to dress up though I had initially not planned to, because I felt a little down the day before and deduced (correctly it seems) that dressing up would make me feel better (you know all that jazz about if you look good you feel good?). Funny thing is the other patrons were dressed so casually in shorts and t-shirts, but it really didn’t matter because I was perfectly content.

I enjoyed how easy and comfortable it was. Eating ribs is not very fancy, elegant fare, in fact it’s downright messy but oh what happy food it turned out to be, I know I certainly had an appetite J. In fact I had quite an appetite for all the other dinners as well, I seem to vaguely remember one of the girls commenting on it, heh. But oy! that’s not good news for my thighs though.

I had two lovely birthday cakes, and if it’s not too late to make a wish, I hope I’ll be as happy at the next birthday as I was in this one. And that means having the company of good friends and a certain someone’s face basked in the glow of a birthday candle smiling back at me.