“A person's mood is an observable affective state, which can consist of a combination of emotions. In normal functioning, moods are influenced by external events, which is adaptive.” – Courtesy of Wikipedia

I was in a bad mood yesterday. But instead of doing the usual thing of brooding, indulging and giving in to it, I chose instead to warn bran, who expectedly was somewhat perturbed and concerned. He did the right thing though: asked, listened, talked, even if he was a little impatient to watch Amazing Race (The Barbies are out! And Bama are in the final three! Who’d have thunk?) :p

Anyway I thought up a little theory last night. Contrary to what Wikipedia says, perhaps my moods aren’t so much influenced by external factors and events, but rather a result of some chemical imbalance in the body. A shift in hormone levels perhaps? Basically a physical cause that triggers emotional symptoms.

This I figure because I realize that I am almost always acutely aware of the exact moment when the shift or change happens. As I told bran, it’s almost a physical sensation, like pain (though it’s not painful). And the other reason is because even in that state, I can think rationally and no matter how much I search, I can’t find a solid reason for feeling that way. But I know for certain that once I get started, even little things that would normally pass below my radar serve to compound that bad feeling.

This is as far as I’ve gotten actually. The next step would be to try and figure out how to deal with it:

1. Admitting it. Let it be known rather than found out since that implies that I have let the mood lead to consequences.
2. Talking it through (though I usually feel far from chatty)
3. Eating! Seriously. Even if I’m hungry I still have no interest in it but when I do it seems to ease the edge a little.

(There is still much to learn, new discoveries to make. And then things change again, so we’ll just see how things go and ride the waves as they come.)