Firmly ground into the asphalt

What higher accolade can you receive from a favourite blogger than for them to link to your blog on their site?

There I was leaping about excitedly doing a little victory jig.

And then I read her Disclaimer.

Whoosh! Slammed back down to earth.

Seems she won’t be responsible for contents on external sites and neither does she endorse them, us, I mean me.

I’m a little slow, should’ve caught on that she links to all sites that link her.

Sigh, well it was fun while it lasted….like all of 10 seconds.

PS: But "Flypaper for freaks"? That’s harsh girl. Personally I prefer self-centered narcissist myself, not that self-centered narcissists’ aren’t freaks too. Hmm….Freaks Unite!

Ms. Brightside

I don't want to look on the bright side.

I want to wallow in self-pity.

Who said indignant self-centered hurt never made things better?

Things you really did not need to know about me

1. Top on my list of dubious abilities is epic yawning. I’ve been nicknamed “hippopotamus” and I proudly live up to it.

2. The Sis says I’ll never get a boyfriend because of (1). I have yet to prove her wrong. (Surely there must be a man out there who thinks prolific yawning is a lovable trait in a partner…. No? Well, bloody ‘ell!!)

3. I have been trapped in lifts twice.

4. I am claustrophobic.

5. Hence when (3) happened (4) ensured that I experienced my 1st panic attack.

6. It was during (5) that my crazy friends introduced me to Crayon Sin Chan. It made me laugh and calmed me down. Now I’m forever indebted to that pint-sized flasher.

7. “Drama in Real Life” from Reader’s Digest issues in the 60’s and 70’s is the cause of my fear of lightning.

8. As it is I am also wary of electrical appliances for fear of being electrocuted.

9. And I stay as far away from microwaves as possible and use them only when absolutely necessary. I always think they are going to explode at the slightest provocation.

10. I graduated top of my class. Dad cried at my graduation. I was too shocked to react.

11. I love trains. I find them endlessly romantic. My dream is to ride a steam engine winding through the Himalayas.

12. My maternal grandfather was a stationmaster. I wish I’d been born before he retired.

13. Mum has 14 brothers and sisters, Dad has 8. This is always an impressive fact to be trotted out at dull parties. It would be even more impressive if I could remember all their names….

14. I dislike (most of) my relatives. They think me anti-social and dislike me with equal vigour.

15. There are 2 genres of books that I like: humour & horror. Other than both starting with the letter ‘h’, they are polar opposites. I am unsure what this says about me.

16. In Form 6 I was entrusted to the care of 2 white mice being fattened up for the dissection table. Over the course of a weekend in my care, they died. I think their kindred have been hounding me ever since. Proof!

17. I became an aunt at the age of 16. 10 years have passed and I’m still trying to get the hang of it.

18. I am an occasional clairvoyant and it scares me. I believe that when the time comes I will be able to predict when people closest to me will die.

19. I religiously switch off my handphone at midnight everyday. I have learnt that when the phone rings in the wee hours of the morning, it can only mean bad news.

20. I love X-Files. ‘nuff said.

21. I think Exorcist is the best horror movie ever made. Everything before and after is total crap.

22. My secret burning ambition was to be a Jedi Knight. I think it still is!

23. I obtained my driving license at the age of 18 and promptly stopped driving for 8 years. I’ve begun again this year but still cannot drive a manual.

24. One unexpected side effect of driving is my growing ability to cuss fluently. I am inordinately proud of this modest achievement.

25. I’ve eaten assorted bugs before. They were not tasty. Perhaps they needed more salt.

26. I am the perfect candidate for Fear Factor. Unfortunately the fear of answering inch-thick entry application questionnaires defeated me.

27. My aversion to taugeh (bean sprouts) is legendary. I have tried unsuccessfully to convince people that I’m allergic to it.

Lastly, this is by no means an exhaustive list. And neither do I guarantee that the above will remain true as time goes by. As such I will update and revise this list as an when…..I feel like it. Hah!

The End

He's wearing a GODDAMNED RING!!

And now I have to go to confession for taking God's name in vain.

Bloody hell!!

Budge the Budget

Did some budgeting last night.

Apparently if I cut out eating all together I should be just fine.

Tea

The thing about tea is, no matter what flavour it is: mango, forest berries, wildflowers etc, and no matter how great it smells, it still tastes like plain. old. tea.

But if you’re lucky sometimes the cold variety like you get from Starbucks, Coffee Bean and whatnot can taste like dishwashing liquid.

That’s why I drink coffee.

These hands

I’ve got hot hands. Yup, you read right: hot.

Before you go on off tangent and start imagining how this part of a person’s anatomy (this blogger’s especially) could be “sexy”, I meant in terms of temperature. Yeah, yeah, what a letdown huh?

Back to my hands now.

They’re always warm. Even when it’s freezing outside, my hands will be the warmest one’s around for miles unless of course Dad’s in the vicinity. It's genetic, you see.

Mom has an aversion to them though. Whenever I touch her, she’ll give a start and yelp “Your hands are just like your father’s!”

I still haven’t been able to decide if this is a compliment or an accusation.

But yours truly always has the last laugh, I'll huff, “Yah what, I’m warm-blooded unlike you reptiles!”

Needless to say I give a mean heated massage, assuming of course I be a good girl and refrain from attempting to break me some bones. Trust me, cries of pain only spurn me on.

And they’re disproportionately big and fleshy too (my hands, my hands, focus people!), what with being perched on spindly, bony wrists and all. My, don’t I just sound like your regular freak show?

One of my fondest memories is of Dad tenderly examining my hands, smoothing them over and announcing with gusto, “You should have been a boy!”.

I don’t know why I should remember this fondly cos if anything, it should have plunged moi into conflicting feelings over sexual orientation vs. parental devotion. Heh.
.
.
.

Ahem, I trust I have contributed to your daily dosage of riveting reads.

You may go now. Scoot!

Hollow

I wish I could take a break from myself. Just go and leave me behind.

Live outside of the inside,
Take respite from the reverberating silence,
Solace from this pregnant emptiness,
And welcome clamour to ease the hollowness.

Find relief,
Release.

Googlism Rules!!

My favourite results (own comments in brackets) are:

On Personal Attributes:
______ is the coolest girl in the world (oh stop, I’m blushing..)
______ is pretty cool (ya don’t say..)
______ is a very kind and sweet feline (this is revenge, I swear I hate all manner of felines!)
______ is hilarious sometimes (oh how she wishes....hey! whadja mean sometimes??!!)
______ is stupid (Hoi!)


On Physical Attributes:
______ is 5'9" tall and makes clothing look good (*chokes with emotion at instantly gained model-like height)
______ is perky perky perky and that's that (*coughs modestly*)
______ is one hell of a fezz ass grabber (I don’t now what it means, but it sure sounds good to me!!)


On her calling in life:
______ is set to been seen on CNN (Woo Hoo! Gonna be famous!)
______ is hostess to a theme tea party (Yes, in my spare time off doing charity work. You can call me “Datin”)
______ is collecting colonies that she grew in a liter flask and then inserted into a Petri (Aik! Almost hit the nail on the head-lah…)
______ is shown here making bead strap purse handles and chokers (What with charity work and themed tea parties, where do I even have the time?)

On Self-Improvement:
______ is ready to learn the songs of weaving (konon-nya nak show off lah next time I go karaoke)

And she is currently:
______ is dressed for a summer wedding (well of course, what else would she be wearing?)


And all the above proves that:
______ is a self-glorifying narcissist. (my own addition)


PS: I suspect in the future I shall cringe in embarrassment about this post but in the meantime, go to: http://www.googlism.com/ and type in your name. Y’all have fun now!

Epilogue – RE: Previous Post

Now, there’s a whole long list of Malaysian bloggers that I’ve bookmarked for my personal convenience and reading pleasure, abuthen I don’t link them here (should I add “yet”?) cos well they’re a little too close, geographically speaking, for comfort. I’d like to retain the freedom in the future of being able to remove a previously professed “favourite” blog from my Links if I ever eventually discover it no longer catches my fancy without having to face likely severe repercussions. And by this I mean their not close enough to be able to come round and beat the crap out of me.

Did I hear someone say paranoid?

On another note, I’ve been having innumerable problems with Blogger over the past few weeks. It simply refuses to let me post. Sudah mau muntah darah I tell you. But for now I’m relieved.

Hope it lasts.

International Bloggers of Mystery

So here’s the thing. I’m kinda getting fed up with those Edit-Me links in my Links box thingy. They scream “Newbie!” “Novice!” (insert other N words of your choice here and “Nonsense!” had better not be one of them). Nevermind that all those labels are true after which a quick look at my “prolific” Archives and the fact that I use blogspot instead of having my own domain will attest to. But I like to pretend, work with me here people!

So I’ve gotten rid of ‘em. See! See!

The links I’ve added in are some of my favourite reads. And I use the term favourite here rather liberally cos I’m just too damn lazy to read all these blogger’s archived post in order to form a concrete opinion of their writing. So I read their top few posts, and trusting my instincts instead of diligent research, here they are.

So without further ado, and there was much ado-ing up there I’ll admit, I welcome:

Defective Yeti
I’m gonna start an “I Love Squirelly” fan club and elect myself Honourary President. We shall alternate club chants between “Hooray for Me!” And “Long Live Squirelly!” (read Aug 3rd post for context then read the rest of The Squirelly adventures in Archives)

Mimi Smartypants
Peguin mad mother of Nora – another mite of Squirelly-like proportions. Read her boob post and weep:

http://smartypants.diaryland.com/072105.html

Noodlepie
Foodster in Saigon. Lots of pixs. I sure do love street food!

Tokyo Times
Somewhat of a photoblog with quirky captions on those kinky Japanese-y.

Green Fairy
Someone who can write about various types of handshakes and leave me rolling on the floor is all right in my books!

La Coquette
She lives in Paris, and yes, I hate her.

360 Degree of Sky
The name’s Claypot and she’s an Irish chocolate-deprived lady in Zambia . No, seriously.

The Domestic Goddess
Because she cooks beautiful food and her writing is also so.

Post Secret
Because it’s voyeuristic and at times it’s comforting to know you aren’t the only deranged idiot in the world.

Go on steal a read. You know you want to…

Of Libraries and Such

Visited the National Public Library yesterday, and it sucks big time. How many levels does it have? 4? 5? Plus 2 wings. Shouldn’t that translate to a well-stocked library with a wide selection of books? Most definitely not.

Potong steam aje.

Not that I did a minute inspection of its shelves contents. This post is admittedly at best a sweeping statement. But I did walk its entire floor space, row by row. Paid close attention to the dismal Literature section and searched for a non-existent Fiction section.

Disappointment would be an understatement for how I feel.
The books pun berterabur di sana-sini.

This is in comparison to a library I know intimately. Boy, do I miss my university library. Used to spend hours poring over everything from forensic science (gruesome pictures – riveting stuff) to food photography (Asian food is hard to photograph due to it’s “messiness”) to literature (kononnya nak cultivate some culture-lah – an obviously unsuccessful endeavour). That’s where I first read Tolkein and indulged my penchant for all things Wodehouseian while wondering what on earth that Plath woman was going on about.

*huge blubbering sigh*

While I wouldn’t make a repeat visit to the National Library, I didn’t come away empty handed either.

Hear! Hear! I learnt that: German Shepherds must be given work to do even if it is merely entering obedience contests, because to subject this highly intelligent dog to a lifetime of domesticated boredom is both unwise and cruel. End of lesson.

My, my, the things we learn from books!

You should totally check this duo out

Double Take rocks! And Mia Palencia’s vocals totally kicks ass!

I’m aware I should insert adjectives here to describe her voice quality and his guitar finger work, but all can be summed up in two words: I like!

And Mia, you’re my Malaysian Idol. You go babe!

PS: There’s too many exclamation marks in this short post. Here let me add sumore!!!!