My memories are getting blurrier these days. Used to be that I could remember exactly when in the past certain moments were shared, certain words were spoken, certain feelings savoured or hurt. Everything counted enough to have their time of occurrence neatly jotted down and stored away. So, I'm losing grip on the past. I'd love to believe that this is due to me mellowing out and letting things slide by naturally but maybe the sheer volume of data from keeping tabs (or score if you may) for so long has over taxed this feeble mind. I'm not too concerned though, but if you come across me with furrowed brow scowling in furious concentration, I'm probably trying to sift through the pieces of my scattered memory searching for increasingly elusive information from my past.
Like this evening as we were having dinner, the first thought that struck me as we sat down at the cafe was that I had been unhappy at that place, sometime in the past. I couldn't for the life of me recall when and certainly not what I was unhappy about, but I definitely remembered the feeling. I was pensive for a while, feeling sorry for the unhappy me whose sorrow I could not remember, but then three very ample, juicy prawns on a bed of char keuy teow arrived and well, that set my priorities straight :)
But this brings me to the point that there are some memories best left forgotten otherwise some streets, some hallways, some rooms will forever be tainted with them. And these places might have to be avoided in order to curtail the rush of feeling from the memory of a dramatic scene that took place there too long ago to matter anymore.
I'm afraid letting go of the habit of systematically committing life's little idiosyncrasies to memory will be a tough one to beat, I am very sentimental after all. But maybe my ailing memory will finally be of some use in this area. Life's too short to spend reliving every single miserable second isn't it? And the happy memories? Well there's always room to make new ones.
(I still maintain you forgot to get me a Christmas gift last year, though I can't be absolutely certain...:)
Like this evening as we were having dinner, the first thought that struck me as we sat down at the cafe was that I had been unhappy at that place, sometime in the past. I couldn't for the life of me recall when and certainly not what I was unhappy about, but I definitely remembered the feeling. I was pensive for a while, feeling sorry for the unhappy me whose sorrow I could not remember, but then three very ample, juicy prawns on a bed of char keuy teow arrived and well, that set my priorities straight :)
But this brings me to the point that there are some memories best left forgotten otherwise some streets, some hallways, some rooms will forever be tainted with them. And these places might have to be avoided in order to curtail the rush of feeling from the memory of a dramatic scene that took place there too long ago to matter anymore.
I'm afraid letting go of the habit of systematically committing life's little idiosyncrasies to memory will be a tough one to beat, I am very sentimental after all. But maybe my ailing memory will finally be of some use in this area. Life's too short to spend reliving every single miserable second isn't it? And the happy memories? Well there's always room to make new ones.
(I still maintain you forgot to get me a Christmas gift last year, though I can't be absolutely certain...:)
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