This ill ease will pass in a day or two. The ill ease of a post-disagreement despite it being 'sorted'. An ill ease of having been disagreeable in the first place and then taking so long to claw back to sanity. A guilt that's hard to displace and reconcile in every after.

Sometimes it feels like I'm standing back coolly watching as the other me does all the wrong things.

So in this murky mire I wander upon photos of people I'll never know and they're all happy, well-adjusted. It seems so easy for them. Then a shard of cold sharp fear pierces through and I am more troubled than before. I look at how little it took and find it hard not to despair.