Luck Be a Lady

Uff. 

So many updates needed. But actually come to think of it, none are needed at all because this corner is virtually anonymous. Ah, happy now!

Brand spanking new (and terribly expensive) personal laptop requires that it be used for IMPORTANT STUFF. Yeah! Ok. Hm. So.

I don't know about you, but when someone calls me 'lucky' I always smell the stench of jealousy emanating from their words. And in the context of a professional environment it is unmistakable. I thought I'd left these people behind in the school yard but I suppose these juvenile self-proclaimed victims just grow up to be sorry-faced 'unlucky' adults. Somehow they never attribute it to their own doing and find every chance to decry their 'unfortunate' circumstances and begrudge us our 'fortunate' one. 

Dealing with people is a massive pain. Dealing with the same old tired personalities can take a toll and muddy what is an otherwise perfectly happy personal life. I find their petty lives tedious and boring as I'm sure they find mine too. This is the reason I try to keep work strictly separate from leisure. I almost never socialize with co-workers anymore outside of office hours. I also don't check my emails after I leave the office as I know I have trouble compartmentalizing and can easily start worrying and sliding into a bad mood during my off hours.

Having a room to myself at work is also a stress reliever; a private room for a private mind. Plus I can shut them out whenever I want to. I hate that I am still bothered by what others think of me even when I know exactly how unremarkable they all are and can equate that to the worthiness of their opinions. Possibly because there is a grain of truth sometimes? But still, I don't pretend to be free of failings, so why can't I be allowed my inadequacies without criticism? Who are they to judge? All these small people leading small lives and trying their damn-est to be less inconsequential by hacking away spitefully at the 'lucky' ones. 

And they have the nerve to wonder why I am distant.

Now if you called me lucky in my personal life, I'd have to agree with you. Blind luck it is, and after all this while I'm still amazed. How indeed did I get so lucky?