Shorn

..and I like it :p

Shopping while therapeutic losses its luster very rapidly once a purchase has been made. But a physical change lasts a little bit longer. Even after you’ve become used to looking at the new you in the mirror, people you meet days, weeks or even months later will react quite dramatically to the change in your appearance. And each time that happens it’s a good feeling all over again.

Of course I realize changing one’s outward appearance in order to relieve or remedy an internal struggle is, for want of a better word, daft. And even though I know better I can’t deny that I have succeeded in distracting myself and alleviating my worries for a little while. In the best case scenario, maybe a prolonged sense of wellness brought on by the change could help me climb out of the dumps and get out of the rut of obsessive fatalistic thinking. I’m not expecting that to happen, but I’m open to the possibility.

I need to be reminded constantly that it’s not doom and gloom all the time, because on my good days it’s clear that my problems are minor and my dissatisfaction, negligible. But on my bad days, minor hurts take on colossal proportions despite efforts to remain in a neutral state of mind. I am very tired of it; I want the floodgates to shut and the dam to dry up.

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Can you believe I was just talking about my new hair cut? :)