..literally.
Feeling hungry (only just). Hunger is such an immediate thing isn't it? No slow building or gradual acknowledgement, just a sudden pang and that's it; must-have-food-now! it cries. But I digress as much as my stomach begs to differ.
It's late in the night, or early morning and I should sleep if only so I can get up early enough not to miss any important calls that could change my situation. But I sit and stare and idly surf, get up and pace watched by quiet walls, lie back and fluctuate from calm to anxienty, to sadness, to self-pity/self-loathing, to bouts of crying, to pits of despair, to hopefulness, to optimism and back and forth, and back and forth again.
I stand by what I said, but I still need to examine things thoroughly. There is an area of immediate concern, but if I get rid of it, will there be any remaining issues uncovered? The kinds of issues that could be real deal-breakers if they can't be resolved. I don't know yet what they might be but there is only one way to find out. So that is the first step, with your help and my helping myself.
I've always known though that in principles we are fundamentally the same. Which is why I say that trust should be a non-issue. I trust myself completely without exceptions and I should afford that same level of trust to you and vice-versa. While we will never be able to prove beyond a doubt the other's trustworthiness, for some reason I am certain that you and I live by the same rules. In this one respect I will never waver. And it is not a chore my dear, not something I have to remind myself of, it is as natural as breathing and it is a joy to have you in an imaginary cartoon bubble wherever I go, whomever I see, whatever I do. There has only been you, not even in the worst of times has this changed. And sadly I can not convince you enough, this is something you must realise on your own. But when you need me to repeat it I will, till the day it becomes a refrain that resonates from within you.
Feeling hungry (only just). Hunger is such an immediate thing isn't it? No slow building or gradual acknowledgement, just a sudden pang and that's it; must-have-food-now! it cries. But I digress as much as my stomach begs to differ.
It's late in the night, or early morning and I should sleep if only so I can get up early enough not to miss any important calls that could change my situation. But I sit and stare and idly surf, get up and pace watched by quiet walls, lie back and fluctuate from calm to anxienty, to sadness, to self-pity/self-loathing, to bouts of crying, to pits of despair, to hopefulness, to optimism and back and forth, and back and forth again.
I stand by what I said, but I still need to examine things thoroughly. There is an area of immediate concern, but if I get rid of it, will there be any remaining issues uncovered? The kinds of issues that could be real deal-breakers if they can't be resolved. I don't know yet what they might be but there is only one way to find out. So that is the first step, with your help and my helping myself.
I've always known though that in principles we are fundamentally the same. Which is why I say that trust should be a non-issue. I trust myself completely without exceptions and I should afford that same level of trust to you and vice-versa. While we will never be able to prove beyond a doubt the other's trustworthiness, for some reason I am certain that you and I live by the same rules. In this one respect I will never waver. And it is not a chore my dear, not something I have to remind myself of, it is as natural as breathing and it is a joy to have you in an imaginary cartoon bubble wherever I go, whomever I see, whatever I do. There has only been you, not even in the worst of times has this changed. And sadly I can not convince you enough, this is something you must realise on your own. But when you need me to repeat it I will, till the day it becomes a refrain that resonates from within you.
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