Friday, October 17, 2008

[Delete]

I hate my life. Why can't I get a break? Why can't things just go my way? Why don't I know what my way is?

Feel like I'm toeing the angry line of resentment. One day soon I'm going to fall face down in the bitterness I'm keeping at bay.

No positive thoughts tonight. Screw positive thoughts, they're just so tiring. Oftentimes I'm just holding my breath and blanking my mind to stop the negativity from flooding in.

Most days I'm genuinely happy for other people and other times it's pure resentment which of course is stupid because their successes have nothing to do with me.

I'm sick of life and screwing up and how it's screwed me. I don't ever want to be positive again if none of it is true. A false positive. No wonder my subconscious rebels against it. No wonder it's so easy to lose all happy feelings at the drop of a hat.

And I always want to run away, firstly from everyone and everything I know , but mostly from myself.

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