Sunday, November 09, 2008

"What a wild beast you be.." - DMB

Coming to terms with duality, the Jekyll and Hyde syndrome, or worse, multiple personalities? Hm.

Case in point; I've been saying goodbye for the last 2 months, lamenting his pending (at that time) absense incessantly but at the same time I looked forward to it sometimes, often when I was angry but also when I wasn't. Today there were no tears and his comforting words unnecessary. Oh it's nothing sinister really, it's just that it's not as long as the last time and time apart can be good. Funny how on my own I'm a mellower version of the hypersensitive creature I am when we're together. I'm less of the me he knows. A me who is very tiresome to both of us. I certainly confound him by one day telling him that I'm tired of him being around all the time and the next day saying I wish we had more waking hours to spend together. My poor hun, I can see his eyes rolling back in his head!

It's the push and pull in equal measure. I wish I could fully explain how the both are true at exactly the same time. Maybe it's the same way that light has the paradoxial nature of both waves and photons.

No comments: