You know how when someone says something to you about you and it irritates the hell out of you and makes you strangely uncomfortable but you can’t put your finger on it?
So you struggle to figure out why something that sounds soo innocent, even justified, chafes you soo much. You try to figure out why it makes you feel like something is ‘off’. Eventually you do figure yourself out but sometimes there’s something missing and then you realize what it is: the unknown element that is/are the motive/s of the ‘casual’ questioner or the accuser, that someone who brought it up in the first place.
In every likelihood (and very often so) that person itself is seemingly unaware of their own motives. After all, in their own defense, it was a comment or question about you and therefore they’ll vehemently deny any forethought or investment of their own designs in it. Liars.
I know I’m perceptive enough to catch this, but there’s nothing much I can do if they dismiss my probing with a remark like, “You’re too sensitive!” An openly cunning response calculated to again make me feel like an idiot for being soo paranoid.
I’m sure I do it all the time too. And now that I’m more aware of it (have been made aware of it actually), it’s sometimes hard to get out the words that instinctively come to mind as I have to turn each little sentence, each little question inwards first. Examine all my motives before my mouth blurts it out and it’s too late to take it back. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, introspection couldn’t possibly be so, but if done too much there’s a great possibility of becoming mute.
(Less cryptic, less cryptic, I know…)
1 comment:
Despite what we try to have others believe, we are really sensitive people inside. Though sometimes it's good to turn down the suspiciousness down a tiny little bit. :)
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