Perverted Perceptions

Have you ever laughed so hard you thought you might crash the car? Well I have and we completely disintegrated into laughing fits for a few harrowing moments in the middle of the road. The argument (well…laughing argument) was how many women the main protagonist in the film we’d just watched had slept with during the course of the show. It was quite a hopeless debate because all the women looked exactly the same and forget about trying to differentiate them via names because well, Korean names all sound the same to ignorant Malaysians like us two.

But I digress.

I’ve been going to these weekly foreign film screenings and have been enjoying them so far. However the host brought up a disturbing incident with relation to the film screened the week before which was a sensitive portrayal on the issue of abortion. Apparently a viewer had admonished the host for screening a film which he thought was “pornographic”.

Hah??

I had to scoop my jaw up from off the floor upon hearing this. I can’t even begin to describe how far gone the mind of this fler must be in order to come up with that conclusion. The only way someone with half a brain could have the gall to make such a statement is if they stuffed there ears, put their fist over their eyes throughout the entire film and imagined the whole thing. It’s…*let’s out an exasperated strangled sound*.. you know what? Such an asinine comment does not deserve a rebuttal.

But the thing is, and this is the state of Malaysia today, even such baseless “criticisms” as these have the power to hurt and possibly end an entirely blameless enterprise should some self-righteous vigilantes decide to pick it up and make it their cause.

As such I worry for the future of these screenings. It would be a pity if we had to bow to the demands of a few chest-beating, close minded individuals who would have us adhere to their perverted sense of morality.

Oh yeah and my friend and I? In the end we agreed on 5…wait, or was that 4?

The Rat, The Scared and The Broomstick

Yuck, yuck, yuck, YUCK!!!

Eiyerrr, geli-nya aku!!!

It was battle royale with The Rat this morning. Can you imagine coming out of the bathroom and seeing a big fat rat crouching in the middle of your living room????!!!! Oh shit! The image of The Rat is seared in my brain…beady eyes, twitching whiskers…splattered blood…God!!! Sob!...So horrible!!

After barricading myself in the bedroom and some violent phone calls to a very amused sister (yah! easy for her to laugh when she’s far away in a rat-free office zone!)…I steel myself with the help of a broomstick to push the foul critter out since repeated volleys of “Shoo!!" and “Out! Out!...please?”, fail in budging it. (maybe it doesn’t understand English eh?)

I push and stand on the stool within inches of it cos I need to open the door to send it off and on it’s way. But no amount of yelling, banging and prodding manages to excite a response more that a shivering of the body and a feeble turning of head. By this time I’m a nervous wreck and at my wits end….Oh! God help me!! So now I try to slide it out on the mat it’s crouched on. Success! Success! It’s moving! The Rat puts it’s front paws (are they called paws?) on the balcony....then comes to a complete halt. Prodding its butt doesn’t make any difference. I’m guessing it changed its mind due to the sunlight streaming in from the balcony.

Preferring the cool of the living room, it makes an about turn amidst deafening shouts from yours truly. Haiyorr!! Sei lorr!! I hastily shut the door to the balcony and stuff the slit under the door so it can’t come back in. But anyway it couldn’t even if it wanted to COS IT'S TOO DAMN BIG!!!

I’ve never been more grateful to be at work than right now. And I’m still getting the heebie-jeebies every few minutes when the image flashes through my brain. Macam mana nak makan lunch hari ni, hah??!!!

*Shiver, shiver shiver*

So sue me for being too chicken to pick the thing up and throwing it away. It was still ALIVE for God’s sake! Now I can go thru the day knowing I have a nasty piece of business when I get home tonight. Cos I’m sure it’ll still be in the same spot, dead. Rats vomiting blood don’t tend to run far.

Oh, and The Sis? She’ll be back late tonight. Convenient huh?

It’s a conspiracy I tell you, the rats are out to get me.

A change would do me good

I woke up this morning with one clear thought in my head “I need to get a new job”.
I need, I must, I have to.

Things are going ok for me. Maybe I could go so far as to say most aspects of my life are in order (eventhough more money would be nice). But now with soo much free time on my hands (why in the world do you think I can get away with writing during office hours??!!) there’s nothing left to do but think. So I think-ed and thunk-ed till I reached this early morning’s epiphany. Which I know isn’t soo significant cause I’ve been saying it for years. (CL stop rolling your eyes)

So anyway, I get my awe-inspiring epiphany and what’s the first thing I do?
.
.
.
I blog. Sometimes my sheer brilliance astounds me.

So what am I doing now?
Continuing to blog.

*slaps forehead and tries to strangle self*
Some people are too dumb or too stubborn to learn lessons they try to teach themselves.

Change is scary. And I am scared I might actually succeed.

Parking is soo easy here (can you imagine? Even something as mundane as parking can hold me back), it’s close to where I stay, the drive is easy, and I have earned enough respect from my colleagues and superiors to have my opinions heard and (at times) heeded. In fact I’m soo firmly entrenched here that I blend in with the damn furniture.

I won’t go into why I want, need, have to, leave. I’ve recited the reasons soo many times to myself that I can say them in my sleep and I’m sick of it.

So I have this voice in my head that goes “I must, I must, I must” with varying degrees of intensity depending on how crappy my day was. I’m hoping one day (today?) it will get loud enough that I’m driven to actually do something about it.

*deep shaky breath*

Now where’s my headhunter’s phone number?

Consumerism with a capital 'C'

Noun: consumerism kun’soomu`rizum
- The theory that an increasing consumption of goods is economically beneficial
.
.
.
…they forgot to add spiritually beneficial too.

CONTENT ALERT: An adequate amount of female hormones is essential for full understanding and mutual appreciation of the following post. ;-)

Ahh….the joys of shopping!

Where do I begin?

The endless rows of gleaming merchandise. The rush you get when you pick up an absolutely divine piece that surprise! surprise! actually looks good on you and is within your budget. And if it’s on Sale, you feel like Christmas has come early.

I’m completely aware of how shallow it is to be discussing with my friends the merits of one piece of clothing over the other, or about whether a handbag is out of season, or whether the lace-up sandals look better on me as opposed to diamante slip-ons. But who knew such ‘deep’ topics of conversations could be soo endlessly interesting and refreshing? Ooo....it’s good to be a girl.

I’ve skived off work before to accompany a friend on holiday, shopping. It was all I could do to conceal my glee at the other poor miserable sods in office attire on their way to work. Shopping malls on weekdays are absolute heaven, don’t you agree? Oh wait, if you’ve never played hooky before, you wouldn’t really know would you? Hah!! Suckers!. No pushing and shoving teeming masses. No obnoxious kiddies on those roller-skating-shoe thingamajigs (What the hell are those? The inventor should be tortured to a slow painful death!) to dodge. No long queues for the changing rooms. Bliss. Best of all is the thought that while others are slaving at work, you get to go out and play! Yipee! Highly recommended, indeed.

Yeah, you guessed it, I’m going shopping this weekend. And boy, am I excited. Ha, ha! I’m not very hard to please am I?

One more thing, for those who say shopping is just another way (the others being, drinking, clubbing and other pleasurable activities) of filling the void within the soul, well please do us all a favour and go stuff yourselves!

So, when did you last have your shopping fix?