The Great Gender Debate

Ah. Nothing like a lazy Sunday evening, good food and a mixed group of interesting personalities to spark off a heated (but friendly: no injuries incurred even though some would have gladly strangled each other if not restrained) gender/relationship debate. In the end, the men claim that they have been enlightened on the female psyche and will put it to good use.

But I’m not soo sure. You might tame the occasional tiger, but you can’t change its stripes.

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A snippet:

Men want the women they’re with to be attractive to other men. It makes them proud to escort these women around, to be the object of envious looks from other guys. It is even a factor in considering if a woman is worth pursuing. Nevermind if she’s brilliant or makes him laugh till his insides ache. If she doesn’t make heads turn then he has to seriously considering if she is worth his time and effort.

On the other hand, women would rather their men not be soo attractive as they wouldn’t want to have to spend all their time fending off the advances of other women. Women are jealous creatures and their claws are sharp.

When it comes to pairing up, handsome men must find a partner of similar beauty, no plain Jane’s for them. And even the most average looking Joe thinks he has as much of a fighting chance as the next male model bloke at hooking up with the most beautiful chick at the bar (and to this I say, get a clue and a mirror while you’re at it babe. Heh.)

But the thing is see, that average Joe? He ain’t that far from the truth (that lucky bastard!). Women tend to be less concerned about looks when it comes to finding a mate/boyfriend/husband/partner/whatever. Just look around. Of all the mismatched couples you see, how many more of them are made up of gorgeous women with ordinary looking guys as opposed to the other way round? A staggering number that’s what. And leaving the depth of the man’s pocket out of the equation, it usually boils down to men being the visual creatures while the females are more emotional. For him, as long as she’s hot enough to salivate over, and for her, as long as he makes her laugh/feel loved/treats her like a queen, then it’s all systems go.

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As with all generalizations, these too will and do breakdown if given a wide enough sampling population. So while it need not be said, here it is: not all men or women conform fully to the gender stereotypes above. But as a general guideline, it’s pretty damn accurate, most of the time anyway.

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On a personal note, the gender debate gets stale pretty fast. There really isn’t any point in re-hashing and arguing the same old points again and again. The finger pointing also gets increasingly wearisome after a while. It’s a conflict as old as time and will never be resolved.

And so as I get older I’d rather access the person as an individual rather than judge or predict how they will act based on their gender. Of course this only works if you believe that people can rise above and beyond the norm and actually develop a personality independent of and perhaps despite their gender.

Oh well, one can hope.