We, are.

"Congrats"? Did I win the lottery?

I'm figuring out why this response disturbs me. And I think I know why. It's the general perception of society that a person is not whole unless they have a 'partner' (in crime in my case ;). And so to congratulate me when I have 'someone' is akin to conceding that I (and other 'unfortunate' people) was only half a person when I was alone. This is the one thing that used to drive me absolutely mad especially when I meet patronizing people (and there are way too many out there) who used to pat me on my back and say condescendingly "You'll find someone someday" while they clutched possessively to their other half without which their entire world would fall apart. I swore I would never ever do that to anyone, and I cursed those people to one day experience what it is like to be alone.

I haven't changed and I don’t want to change to suit anyone. I believe this is something we (him and I) agree on since both of us are highly individualistic. Retaining my individuality in a relationship is of great importance to me. I understand the virtue and necessity of compromise, but I'd never tolerate a dilution of my personality (and definitely do not want that of him either) just so I can hold on to him. I rarely have very strong views, but this is a topic close to my heart. And I’m not angry at this friend of mine, but sometimes I can give people a rough time for a careless word. And yes, I’ll admit it, I can be uptight. (ok, ok, that’s an understatement, happy now??)

***

So after some rough patches, and a very bumpy take-off, he’s decided to stick around this dysfunctional person.

I am happy.

I grin like an idiot,

And hide secret smiles,

When others are around.

(I am apprehensive.

And I worry,

I am insecure;

A measure of anxiety in the calm)

I hold my breath,

My voice catches,

I shy away,

but not too far.

I look away,

but have you framed

in the corner of my eye.

Now I know,

The sum of us

is an absolute.